It’s something that has been around long before the days of our slaves building this grandiose Colosseum. They’ve booed since the days of neanderthals clubbing each other for the right to bone that hairy chick from Cave #40.
But fans of the Republic should not have booed Brutus Seepius as relentlessly as they did during Monday’s Lion Slaying Derby.
Sure, they were ticked that the mighty Seepius didn’t select local hero Thadius Tracaecusaes for this otherwise meaningless exhibition of killing beasts that were genetically altered to provide a more entertaining result than your typical sanctioned Colosseum game.
No, I say we remove even more meaning from this largely pointless event by picketing the cobblestone streets of the forum until that rotten dictator Gaius Julius Caesar changes the rules, allowing a local hero of the host city to participate.
Boy, my toga is really wound up tight in a knot right now.
Many years from now, some super important scribe of a sport that has yet to be invented will have a much easier time selling the people on this concept because of the groundwork I am laying now.
There is literally nothing more important right now than this. Join me, fellow sons of the Republic! All-Star contests are really, really important. And booing is stupid. We must stop the latter before it’s too late.